Logo of the Inventors Association of St. Louis

Inventors Connection
Inventors Association
of Saint Louis

Logo of the Inventors Association of St. Louis

Inventors Association of St. Louis (IASL)
PO Box 410111
St. Louis, MO   63141
Tel: 314-432-1291
Fax:
Contact: Robert Scheinkman, CC&BW
E-mail: President@inventorsconnection.org
Web Page: eweb.slu.edu/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=219

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-- $$$ --------------- Inventors, Inventions and Big Money
The IASL is as close as your telephone ----> -----> ----->
Call Voice-Mail: -- 314-432-1291
-- "Inflation hasn’t ruined everything. A dime can still be used as
a screwdriver."
-- Quoted in P.S. I Love You

Name five businesses or inventions that started in barns, garages or homes?
1) Google- internet search (Sergey Brin and Larry Page)
2) Apple Computer- affordable personal computer (Steve Wozniak),
3) Hewlett-Packard- audio oscillators (Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard),
4) Motorola- the car radio (William P. Lear), and …
5) Maybe your business or invention?!
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-- "Google Ventures -- We invest anywhere from seed to mezzanine stage and embrace the challenge of helping young companies grow from the garage to global relevance." --
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-- 5 Things Lucky People Do --

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From: Niemann7@aol.com
Subject: MarketLaunchers has a new client looking for new products
Date: Friday, July 13, 2012 10:18 AM

 Dear Inventor –

Market Launchers has just contracted with a manufacturer that is looking for high quality, proprietary products that its competitors do not carry. Here are the details ... They are looking for products that would fall into one of these categories:

· Work glove and gear products

· Lawn & garden products and gloves for adults and / or children

· Do-It-Yourself Work products for homeowners

· Kids’ products, especially that can be licensed with entertainment companies. The company currently has licensing arrangements with Disney and Nickelodeon.

Their distribution is nationwide thru major retail stores, including hardware chain stores, and home improvement chain stores. Your product can be on the market already, or our client can manufacture it if you’re not at that stage yet (at no cost to you). They want to license the products or pay a royalty to the inventors.

Also, if you recently submitted a product to me for our current DRTV client, then you don’t need to re-submit it because I already have it on file. Here’s how to submit your product:

1. Send an e-mail to me, Paul Niemann, at niemann7@marketlaunchers.com, with your web site address so I can see your product. Please make sure that your contact info is on your web site.

OR

2. If you do not have a web site, then send me a description and pictures, along with your name and phone number. (If you do not have a web site, I can build you one within 24 hours – let me know)

If you’re unsure of anything, just ask me. You will receive a reply from me within 3 days. If it passes the first screen (me), then I will forward it onto my client for their review. It’s that simple. One more thing ... please feel free to pass this message along to your fellow inventors, your inventor group, and anyone else who you think would appreciate seeing it. Thanks.

Best Regards,

Paul Niemann
niemann7@aol.com
www.niemann7@aol.com
Office: 636-477-8000
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-- --> "A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure." -- Segal's Law

-- --> "The official U.S. time - snapshot" --

-- --> Call Voice-Mail: -- 314-432-1291 -- the telephone number of the Inventors Association of St. Louis.

On October 1, 2011, the PTDL (Patent and Trademark Depository Library) changed its name to PTRC - the United States Patent and Trademark Resource Center.

-- --The PTRC is sponsored by the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) and is free for all users.

-- "SAINT LOUIS LINKS" --

-- "Resources for Entrepreneurs" --

-- "Real Estate Resources" -- "Ever had an idea for a new product or tool that would make your job easier? Get inspired by the stories of five practitioners who turned their ideas into money-making inventions."

"Vell, your Honor Judge, it's all a mistake."

-- -- The scene is City Court, Bronx, New York. An Afro-Black man and an old Jewish man are before the Judge. The Charges are: Uttering Racial Slurs and Enciting a Riot. -
- "Vell, your Honor Judge, it's all a mistake. I love 'Schvatzes', they are good people; I try to help'em venever I can? - Dis man vas lost an' he cums up t-me far en-a d'rections. I points mine-a finger at 'im: --> 'Vat you say? - Your block u pastit'! -
An he hauls off an' shmacks me !! He's a 'mishugana!'"
-- Comedian, Myron Cohen


Morris comes home much later from work than usual. He sees his wife waiting for him at the door.

"I..I was afraid to come home and tell you the truth.. I was laid off" --- "The company folded. There's no business and they had to let me go." -- "And at my age - who will want to hire me?" -- "And how will we pay our bills?"

"Don't worry, darling. I will make money for us. I will go out on the street...and hustle."

Before he could say another word, she rushes out.

Five hours later, she comes back home and it's 1:30 in the morning.

She comes home looking bedraggled, "What a life! -- I made $9.25 !!"

"------ You WHAT?!! WHO THE HELL ONLY GAVE YOU 25-CENTS?


"--- They ALL gave me 25-cents!"


Morris comes home late from work.. (a different joke)

"I..I was afraid to come home and tell you the truth.. I was laid off" --- "The company folded. There's no business and they had to let me go." -- "And at my age - who will hire me?" -- "And how will we pay our bills?"

"Don't worry, my Darling. Everytime we made love - and you were asleep - I went to your pants pocket and took out your wallet and kept $10.00. I put it away in a safe place - in a box in the closet. We can use that to live on.

"Oyeii - to think that I didn't give you all of my business !!"

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-- "Museum of Black Inventors" --

-- Inventors - Writing Your Business Plan

-- Chicago 1st Black Inventors and Entrepreneurs Organization presents a seven week series for inventors and its members on writing your business plan.
-- Visit
http://web.extension.uiuc.edu/cook/downloads/21190.pdf for session details, registration and contact information.

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-- "Inventors Eye | Fueling the Inventive Spirit" --
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-- -- Inventions and Patents of African-Americans - 19th Century"

-- -- "Inventions and Patents of African-Americans - 20th Century"

-- -- "African-American Inventors of Our Times"

--> > 1885 Sarah Goode became the first black woman to receive a U.S. patent.

-- "Washington Post Starts an Online Magazine for Blacks - New York Times" --

-- -- "Money can come and go, but changing someone's life - Priceless!" -- Ethan Taylor [Philantropic Afro-American Entreprenuer, who is worth Twenty Million Dollars.]

-- -- "CNBC Special Report: The New Black Overclass" --

-- -- "FraudWatch warns of the escalation of Internet fraud" -- "It begins with an email claiming the recipient has won a lottery. They are to contact a claims agent to collect their winnings, usually at a free email address. The unsuspecting consumer contacts the claims agent who sends a claim form to verify their identity. They must return the form with their personal details along with copies of their passport and drivers license to verify their true identity.” This is where the scam begins. The fraudsters now have enough information to duplicate the consumers identity."

--------------> -----------------> --------------------->
-- -- Warning: New Credit Card Scam --

-- This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want. -- Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it...

-- This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & Master Card Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself.

-- One of our employees was called on Wednesday from 'VISA', and I was called on Thursday from 'Master Card'.. The scam works like this:

-- Caller: 'This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA.. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in ?'

-- When you say 'No', the caller continues with, 'Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct? You say 'yes'.

-- The caller continues - 'I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card; (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security.'

-- You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. 'Do you need me to read it again?'

-- Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, 'I need to verify you are in possession of your card'. He'll ask you to 'turn your card over and look for some numbers'.

-- There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card.

-- The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, 'That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?'

-- After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, 'Don't hesitate to call back if you do, and hangs up.

-- You actually have said very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number.. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question.. Are we glad we did!

-- The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card.

-- The long and short of this story -- we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number.

-- What the scammers wanted is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Insteadl, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card!

-- If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you'll think that you are receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report.

-- What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a 'Jason Richardson of Master Card' with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA.

-- The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening.

-- We hope this service will be of benefit to you.
----------------> -----------------> --------------------->

-- -- Should you unsubscribe from spam? 10/23/2008
------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Just like everyone else, I receive spam. The spam filter on Google’s Gmail catches most of it. But occasionally some gets through. On the bottom of some spam is a link that says, “Click here to unsubscribe.” Should I click it and attempt to unsubscribe? Or would that notify the spammers that my e-mail address is legitimate?

A. It’s good that you thought before clicking on that link. In most cases, you shouldn't respond to spam in any way. -- The Kim Komando Radio Show & Web site
......And..

......... "Are you spamming your friends?" --

-- "New ransomware holds Windows files hostage, demands $50" --

-- "FOXNews.com - RFID Chips Could Make Stolen DVDs Useless - Science News | Science & Technology | Technology News

-- "Get your (not-so) free grant money" --

-- -- A GUIDE TO RESOURCES FOR TECHNICAL ENTREPRENEURS IN
ST. LOUIS --> TECHNOLOGY GATEWAY

-- -- Economic Development Center of St. Charles County - Helping Area Business Grow New Jobs for St. Charles

-- --> "Advantages of Using Manufacturers' Agents"

-- -- "UM-St. Louis: Rounding Up $3 Million for Incubator"

Payment Methods:

Marriage is 50-50
He puts in 50 and she takes out 50

-- And to our "Famous Women Inventors"

-- "They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything." -- Bill Keane

-- Differences between men and women

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

- "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." -- Albert SzentGyorgyi

-- "I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat."

7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then, why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married."
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-- -- Why Men Wear Earrings -- --

Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.

The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

(I always wondered how this trend got started.. :-)
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A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.

"It's for my husband," she tells the clerk.

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"

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-- "Gotta do whatcha gotta do makes you a success."
-- Carlita in 'Carlita's Way' --

-- "80% of the purchases in the marketplace are the responsibility of women." --

9 WORDS WOMEN USE:

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. 'That's okay' means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying a really bad word.

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

-- "Specialty sites help you save money - Kim’s Columns – Reviews and Advice on All Things Digital - The Kim Komando Radio Show" --

-- "Smallbiz Central: Bounce-back Coupons Bring Business Back Into Your Business" --

-- "Kim's Money Center - Make money from home"

-- "Oh, no way! - I finally found Mr. Right.. Now he tells me that his first name is Always." ;-))

-- "Global Women Inventors & Innovators"

-- "Secrets of Millionaire Moms: Learn How They Turned Great Ideas into Booming Businesses and How You Can Too! - Mom Inventors, Inc. - Moms Helping Moms" --

-- -- Inventors World Network

-- IWN, a part of GFI Associates, provides the highest quality education, tools, and resources inventors need to realize their potential. IWN's main product is the Inventor's Starter Toolkit DVD series. It has all the tools an inventor will need to analyze, develop and protect a product and take it from concept to consumer! With this 7-DVD series, an inventor will be on his way to taking what was just an idea and turning it into a product that people will actually buy.

-- Daynin Dashefsky, President, CEO and Founder of marketing/promotions firm GFI Associates, is an accomplished inventor and entrepreneur who has turned her creative ideas into breakthrough new products. Her product lines have been featured in catalogues and sold at elite boutiques, toy specialty stores, drugstores, membership warehouses and mass merchandise retailers worldwide. Capitalizing on her experience in bringing a concept to fruition and then launching that product to retailers and consumers, Daynin leads international seminars to teach inventor hopefuls how to utilize do-it-yourself materials from her Inventor’s Tool Kit. She also consults with inventors and entrepreneurs who desire her expertise and guidance to help them avoid the pitfalls she faced marketing her new products in a competitive marketplace. Her private clients include both established and up-and-coming entrepreneurs, small business owners, doctors, housewives, students, realtors, chiropractors and mortgage brokers, just to name a few. For more information: -- "Inventors World Network" --
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-- -- --> THE RULES for MAN

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.

2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind at any time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

17. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

18. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.
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-- "Does Mars need women? Russians say no"

-- Why men perfer guns to women --

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favoured over a woman is .

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

1943 - Tips on Getting More Efficiency from your Women Employees
The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was written for male supervisors of women in the workforce during World War II, only 69 years ago! The intent was not to be "funny".
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1.) Pick young, married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2.) When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3.) General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4.) Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5.) Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Women make excellent workers when they have their jobs set out for them, but they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

6.) Whenever possible, let the female employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

7.) Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make for some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

8.) Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

9.) Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

10.) Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.
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----> I am the messenger. Do not shoot the messenger! Repeat: I am the messenger. Do not shoot the messenger! ----------------------------------------------------------> >
Fall Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED before Monday, September 29, 2012

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

- Class 1
-- Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

- Class 2
-- Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours? --- Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

- Class 3
-- Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping? --- Group Debate.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

- Class 4
-- Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

- Class 5
-- Curling Irons --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet? Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

- Class 6
-- How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program --- Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

- Class 7
-- Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos? --- Open Forum.
Meets Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

- Class 8
-- Health Watch --- They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Meets Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

- Class 9
-- I Was Wrong and He Was Right! --- Real Life Testimonials.

Meets Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, Location to be determined.

- Class 10
-- How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim. --- Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

- Class 11
-- Learning to Live --- How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

Meets Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

- Class 12
-- How to Shop by Yourself.

Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

- Class 13
-- How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy ---Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Meets Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

- Class 14
-- The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.

Meets Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

-- Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
----------------------------------------------------------

>> Some wife one-liners --

-- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. -- Henny Youngman

-- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield

-- A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -- Milton Berle

-- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- George Burns

-- What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. -- Cindy Garner

-- I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake." -- Henny Youngman

-- Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. -- Phyllis Diller

-- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -- Henny Youngman

-- People are always asking couples whose marriages have endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman. -- Erma Bombeck
==========================================

-- "New Nonprofit Corporation Begins To Help Stimulate Regional Economy" --

--> A new nonprofit corporation, Eastern Missouri Association of Guaranteed Government Lenders ("EMAGGL"), was started by a group of local financial institutions interested in small business lending and the problems associated with economic development in the small business sector. Board members include Pat O'Herin with Union Planters Bank, Carolyn K. Gegg with CIT Small Business Lending, Jo Ann Hines with Bank of America, and Kent Lueckenotte with Resources for Missouri, and Christopher Kelleher with The Law Firm for Business serving as general councel.

-- EMAGGL's purpose is to stimulate the regional economy by creating greater awareness of governmental- guaranteed loan products by educating lenders and the public. EMAGGL will strive to overcome the negative perceptions about government guaranteed lending. Also, EMAGGL will work for the enactment of laws to advance the common interests of its members.
- Contact Carolyn K. Gegg, 636-458-2330

Eligi-bility Requir-ements:

-- "I&I Grants are open to U.S. citi-zens, either native born or natuar-alized, small busi-nesses that are U.S. owned, or insti-tutions of higher learn-ing located in the U.S. Special con-sider-ation is given to indi-vidual inven-tors and small busi-nesses."

-- GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE FOR ENERGY RELATED INVENTIONS --

-- The Inventions and Innovation (I&I) Program provides financial assistance for conducting early development and establishing technical performance of innovative, energy saving ideas and inventions. --

-- Category 1 will fund up to $50,000 for conceptual ideas.

-- Category 2 will fund up to $250,000 for more well developed inventions moving toward prototype development or commercialization. At a minimum, engineering analysis and/or a bench scale model must be complete for an invention to be considered a Catagory 2 application.

-- I&I Grants are open to U.S. citizens, either native born or natuaralized, small businesses that are U.S. owned, or institutions of higher learning located in the U.S. Special consideration is given to individual inventors and small businesses.

-- In addition to financial assistance, this program offers technical guidance and commercialization support to successful applicants. --> Go to: -->
-- "Inventions and Innovation Program"
-- "Institute in American Government Awards" -- --

-- You've heard about Government phasing out a program?! All the do is retitle it or move the retired personnel to another program. That way, the good die young and the corrupt @&*!s go on to screw-up another department.

-- -- "Illinois Entrepreneurship Network" --
Introductions to investors, industry contacts and potential service providers -- Information about grants and loans

-- "Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity - Entrepreneurship and Small Business" --

From: Alan Schaefer
Subject: Fw: Taxes
Date: Thursday, March 19, 2009 10:36 PM Attachment: _AVG certification_.txt (160B)

To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 7:52 AM
Subject: Fw: Taxes

Ask the average person which is the correct answer to the following question: Which president gave the biggest tax cuts for the rich -- Reagan or Bush? I would bet the rent money that you would not get the correct response, which is: Presidents have no taxing authority. Article I, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution says: "The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts and excises." How do we characterize people if they continue to speak of presidents cutting or raising taxes?

Another tax question: If there's an imposition of a property tax on your land, who pays the tax? I guarantee you that land does not pay taxes; only people pay taxes. That means a tax on your land is a tax on you. You say, "Williams, that's pretty elementary, isn't it?" But what do you say to a politician or news media people who propose increasing corporate taxes as means to get rich corporations to pay their rightful share of government? They should be told that they speak nonsense because corporations, like land, do not pay taxes; only people pay taxes.

If a tax is levied on a corporation, and if it is to survive, it must raise the price of its product, or lower dividends or lay off workers. In each case, it is people, not some legal fiction called a corporation, who bear the burden of any tax levied on the corporation. An important subject area in economics called tax incidence says that the entity upon whom a tax is levied does not necessarily bear the burden of the tax. Some of the tax burden can be shifted to another party. That's precisely what corporations do and as such they are merely government tax collectors.

Here's another tax question: Which worker receives the higher pay: a worker on a road construction project moving dirt with a shovel or a worker moving dirt atop a giant earthmover? If you said the guy on the earthmover, go to the head of the class. But why? It's not because he's unionized or that employers just love earthmover operators. It's because having more capital (tools) makes him more productive and therefore earn higher wages.

It's not rocket science to conclude that whatever lowers the cost of capital formation enables workers to have more capital to work with and enjoy higher wages. Policies that raise the cost of capital formation such as capital gains taxes, low depreciation allowances and high corporate income taxes, and thereby reducing capital formation, serves neither the interests of workers, investors nor consumers.

Taxes also reduce transactions. I need my computer repaired. You and I agree that the job is worth $200. Suppose there's the imposition of a 30 percent income tax on you. That means you would net only $140 and might refuse the job. You might suggest that if I were willing to pay you $285 you would do the job because at that price your after-tax earnings will be $200 -- what doing the job is worth to you. There's a problem. The repair job was worth $200 to me, not $285. So it's my turn to say the heck with it, or would we and society be better off if you and I agreed to the repair job but did not tell anybody? I'd say yes, but we'd be criminals.

You might wonder how congressmen can get away with taxes and other measures that reduce our prosperity potential. Part of the answer is the anti-business climate promoted in academia and the news media. The more important reason is that prosperity foregone is invisible. In other words, we can never tell how much richer we would have been without today's level of congressional interference in our lives and therefore don't fight it as much as we should.

-- If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.

-- Which reminds me of the story, "Butch the Talking Wonder Dog" --

-- A thespian actor saunters into a tavern with his dog. The dog looks like any other small run-of-the-mill nondescript dog. The dog jumps up on the barstool and says, "Gimme a beer" and his owner says, "Make that two Bud beers..one fer me and the other fer me talking dog, Butch." The bartender says, "Yea, you're a pretty good ventriloquist, Mister." -- "No, really, me Butch kin talk - like me and use. He and me has an Act at this here Palladium movie-house down the street." "We're the main attraction. He's "Butch the Talking Wonder Dog." Here, get-em a beer - I'll go take meze-a leak in your mens-stall."

-- The actor comes back in a few minutes and finds his dog GONE!! -- "Where did Butch go?!! I can't lose him.. Me whole act depends on me and him on stage talkin' and singin' tigether."

-- The bartender says, "I done give your dog the beer an I figgers dat if'n he's smart enuff ta talk like you said, he kin go down a block an gits-me a newspaper at de news-stand, down at de corner? - I gives him a quarter te git me a "Post-Dispatch." He kin tell that newsboy I wants a "Post," not no "Globe."

-- "Are you crazy?!! Butch is worth a Million Dollars!!! - Somebody'll sure grab em!!" --> The actor rushes out to find Butch down the street.

-- The frantic actor gets all the way down to the lone newsstand and doesn't see Butch. - "Did a small white dog come on down here askin' fer a paper?" - The news-guy shakes his head, "No dog come bye and no dog say nutin'.. 'cause I'd uv shore been su-prized if'n one did!"

-- The actor heads back to the tavern and as he passes a narrow alleyway, stuck back-in there between two rundown shanties, he sees our good-old Butch - mounted upon a big black stray bitch - doing his doggy thing.

-- "Butch!!! You ain't never done THAT before!" -- Butch, never missing a stroke -- "I never had me two-bits before!!"

-- "You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try." -- Beverly Sills

-- The cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of eleven: $16,400

-- You know when your computer is getting old; when two-bits meant something in its memory.

-- "Kim Komando’s Video of the Day » Blog Archive » World’s smartest dog" --

INSIGHT-FUL MESSAGE FROM A GUEST SPEAKER AT THE IASL MONTHLY MEETING ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> >
-- The below are highlights from a speech given to the IASL in 2002 by Edie Michelson. The article that follows is about business marketing and was sent in February, 2009. -

[-- "The main point of my presentation is to explain to inventors the functions of a marketing department."]

-- "Inventors have a product, and they have learned about protecting their rights. When they want to take it to the step of selling it and being successful they need to treat the situation like they have a small business. They need to understand the structure of a small business and the functions of each department. Most people at this point understand the functions of accounting, legal, personnel and sales, but do not understand marketing. One of the functions is writing the business plan. Another is implementing the plan. Another is forming a promotion mix that involves advertising, etc.

-- Each inventor should not hesitate to outsource these functions of the marketing department, if they don't have the expertise to do the functions on their own."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> >
[- "In the case of your audience of inventors, the business is selling the invention. -- In this article, I mention four choices for communication, otherwise known as promotion elements."]

-- Definitions of Promotion Elements for CommunicationAdvertising:

-- This is a paid form of non-personal communication about an organization, its products, or its activities. It is transmitted through a mass medium to a target audience. It is also called branding. The mass medium might be TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, outdoor displays like billboards, and outdoor displays like mobile ads.

- Strengths: Efficient for reaching many buyers simultaneously; effective way to create an image of the brand; flexible; variety of media to choose from.

- Weaknesses: Reaches many people who are not potential buyers; ads are subject to much criticism; exposure time is usually short; people tend to screen out advertisements; total cost may be high

- Sales Promotion: This is an activity or material. It offers customers, sales personnel, or resellers a direct inducement for purchasing a product. This inducement, which adds value to or incentive for the product, might take the form of a coupon, sweepstakes, refund, or display.

- Strengths: Supports short-term price reductions designed to stimulate demand; variety of sales promotion tools available; effective in changing short-term behavior; easy to link to other communications

- Weaknesses: Risks inducing brand-loyal customers to stock up while not influencing others; impact may be limited to short term; price-related sales promotion may hurt brand image; easy for competitors to copy.

- Public relations: This is a non-personal form of communication. It seeks to influence the attitudes, feelings, and opinions of customers, non-customers, stockholders, suppliers, employees, and political bodies about the organization. A popular for is publicity, which is a non-paid form of non-personal communication about the organization and its products that is transmitted through a mass medium in the form of a news story. Obviously, marketers seek positive publicity.

- Strengths: Total cost may be low; media-generated messages seen as more credible than marketer-sponsored messages.

- Weaknesses: Media may not cooperate; heavy competition for media attention; marketer has little control over message.

- Direct Marketing: This uses direct forms of communication with customers. It can take the form of direct mail, online marketing, catalogs, t3lemarketing, and direct dialog between the marketer and the customer. Its objective is to generate orders, visits to retail outlets, or requests for further information. Personal selling fits into this category.

- Strengths: Message can be customized and prepared quickly; can facilitate a relationship with customer. In regards to personal selling, salespeople can be persuasive and influential; two-way communication allows for questions and other feedback; message can be targeted to specific individuals.

- Weaknesses: Managing and maintaining up to date database can be costly; often low customer response. Concerning personal selling, cost per contact is high; salespeople may be hard to recruit and motivate; presentation skills may vary among salespeople.

- Edie L. Michelson
(eMail: Edie@Ads2go.net)
Ads2go, LLC www.ads2go.com
PO Box 1193, Ballwin, MO 63022 1193 - phone 636-458-9110
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> >

-- When IASL doesn't have the answer to your inventive problem, the UIAUSA does:
--> United Inventors Association of the U.S.A. (UIAUSA) - PLUS - The Inventors Association of St. Louis (IASL)

-- Our first IASL Director, Roberta ("Bobby") Toole, helped in augmenting this dynamic organization in 1990. We salute their efforts and all the inventor organizations that have followed their lead.

-- "So many companies today are looking for creative products early in the process in order to get a jump on their competition. Join The UIA. What better place to tap into new product ideas than the inventor community. UIA works with the companies to help them tap this source of creativity without great expense to them and at the same time, reducing or eliminating the associated challenges of dealing with inventors. If you know of a company that fits this profile, do all inventors a favor and send them in my direction at ExecDir@uiausa.org

Bonnie Griffin Kaake, Executive Director"

> > Inventor's Spotlight at the National Hardware Show

> Trade shows are a superb way for inventors to get into the often impenetrable world of manufacturing and retail. The UIA is delighted to announce its renewed partnership with the National Hardware Show, one of the biggest annual trade shows in the world, gathering over 2,800 consumer products companies at the Las Vegas Convention Center. The Inventor’s Spotlight is for inventors with products that bring new, unique and original solutions to today’s homeowner.

-- "As with anything, solid knowledge leads to better decision making. In the new products industry, it also leads to more effective financial decisions. With the proper knowledge, you can save on your patent filing; on getting the proper prototype made; on choosing the best research for your product; and so on. Without the proper knowledge, you may waste thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours. You may still get there – but wouldn’t you rather get there by spending as little money and time as possible?

-- But most importantly, with proper knowledge, you make it significantly more likely that the manufacturer’s door will open, that you get that crucial first meeting, and that you are able to move forward from there.

-- One of the easiest and most cost-efficient ways to get this knowledge is through groups like the non-profit UIA, dedicated to helping people like you – it’s only through your success that the UIA succeeds." - By Andea Brady - UIAUSA

-- "United Inventors Association - Event List" --

IRS Warns of 'Phishing' -- IRS warns of 'phishing' --

Posted on March 17, 2008

By JIM ABRAMS Associated Press Writer WASHINGTON (AP) — 'Phishing,' Internet-based schemes of tricking people into revealing confidential financial information, topped the Internal Revenue Service's annual list of scams that taxpayers should be aware of.

The IRS on Thursday also warned people not to fall for predators posing as IRS representatives who tell them they must reveal personal information to obtain the economic stimulus payment. That payment goes out automatically to anyone who files a tax return.

Also on Thursday, acting IRS Commissioner Linda Stiff told Congress that the first stimulus payment checks would go out shortly after this filing season ends. She said that those with a direct deposit account will receive their checks electronically the first week of May. The first paper checks will be mailed by the second week of May.

Under the stimulus package enacted by Congress, individuals will receive $300 to $600 and couples $600 to $1,200. Parents will also receive $300 for each child under 17.

The tax agency said taxpayers this year had forwarded to the agency 33,000 'phishing' scam e-mails reflecting more than 1,500 different schemes. It said thieves, some claiming to be IRS officials, use information to empty victims' bank accounts, run up credit card charges or apply for loans in the victims' names.

''We take identity theft very seriously,'' Stiff told a Ways and Means subcommittee hearing.

National Taxpayer Advocate Nina Olson, also testifying at the hearing, applauded the IRS for taking proactive measures to assist victims, including the recent implementation of a tracking system for identify theft victim accounts. But Olson, who works independently within the IRS, said the agency still lacks a coordinated approach and has a ''duty to restore integrity to accounts... not to exacerbate injuries.''

Olson also reported that some seniors who filed tax returns this year to get their stimulus checks after not filing for years have discovered that someone else has been using their Social Security numbers on tax returns. ''The IRS does not have adequate procedures to address situations where the identity theft victim does not have a filing requirement,'' she said.

''The IRS urges taxpayers to be extra-vigilant,'' it said in its release, to people claiming that they must provide information to receive their stimulus checks. It stressed that the agency does not contact taxpayers by phone or e-mail about those checks.

Rep. Ron Kind, D-Wis., asked Stiff about the agency's spending of $42 million, ''an incredible waste of taxpayer dollars,'' to send letters to taxpayers, most of whom would file returns anyway, to remind them that they must file a return to get a stimulus check.

Stiff said it was a ''prudent call'' considering that, after Congress approved a similar rebate in 2001, the agency received 27 million calls, causing their systems to crash.

Among other scams, it reminded taxpayers that they are liable for $5,000 penalties for submitting frivolous claims such as a constitutional right to object to military spending.

Others on the list this year were fuel tax credit scams, the offshore hiding of income, the misuse of trusts and the abuse of charitable organizations. It warned people to watch out for tax return preparers who attract clients by promising large refunds and charge inflated fees for their services.

-- Stimulus Checks Explained

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala .

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer; Bought from Samuel Adams or a local micro brewery. PLEASE NOTE; Anheuser-Busch InBev (owned by Brazil), Coors (owned by Canada) and Miller (owned by South Africa) Will not help YOU or the U.S.A.!

5) Tattoos.

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink U.S. OWNED AND BREWED! beer all day !

- No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.